Why is it that people have such strong opinions on the timing of things. here are the examples I am talking about.
1. say you are getting married before 21 what makes it right for a person to be rude about the fact the you are doing so and saying that you are " toooooo young" .. some people by 20 have experienced more than someone has in their whole lifetime or even experienced more than a person who is 30. why are they too young? If you are in love and know you want to spend forever with them why would you wait 3 years so you can be the " not tooo young, and appropriate age to the people public eye" .. it just doesnt make sense to me i guess because your still going to experience all the things you will in the next 3 years with that person, so why not be married anyway your experience is that much better, and you grow even closer as a couple.
2. why dont you have a kid yet you've been married for a bit now? Seriously ok I get it kind of. However you dont know the peoples situation they could be having infertility issues, or they just arent simply ready, or who knows their situation.
3. soo your baby is now 1 when are you going to start trying for number 2. This one i find to be thinking a lot about. I think more particularly about the following. If someone has kids that are under about 18 months apart there is it seems automatically a public view of wow they arent messing around, there just having their kids bam bam bam... I mean so what, what people think but why does this happen. if people want their kids 12-18 months a part then so be it. But also it could also be a
ANYWAYS those are about it for timing thoughts lol. it felt good to write it down and get it out there.. thank you if you chose to read this nonsense
6 comments:
This is my opinion but age is just a number and people need to get over it and stop being so judegmental and if someone wants to have gets close together... so be it... I think it was awesome growing up with siblings close in age and thats how i want to have my kids CLOSE... if possible so im with you WHIT... if you are possibly thinking of another GO FOR IT girl... dont let everyone elses NON SENSE bother you :)
In regards to your first comment regarding getting married at an early age, i think where people come from is that they know how much a person changes between the age of 18-25. Its biological, your brain continues to grow and develop late in to your 20's which changes your personality and maturity! So who you are compatible with may change as well as want you want in life. I don't think that there is one right answer or opinion and there's is no full proof plan to completely ensure a lasting marriage.not even religion. but i wrote this so you could see both sides of the spectrum.Maybe instead or being so "annoyed" that people say these things, ask them why they feel that way. They might have valid reasons, as do you for feeling the way you do... as such that your marriage has been successful thus far. Experiences are different when you do them on your own, and they may help you develop your true self more. Experiences with a significant other can also strengthen your bond. In regards to the kids thing, you write as though you are very concerned about what other people think. Thats the first problem. To each his own. ponder about how you see your family growing and not how others are or how they might think if you did or didnt wait. The more confident you are in your choice the less you'll care about the opinions of others! thanks!
very well said amanda.. and megan..
amanda good points completely.. i am glad you responded its great to hear other perspectives on things you know? and ya Agreed ha i try not to think about what other people may or may not think.. thanks for putting out there though that i definitely need to try harder :)
I agree with your friend Amanda, completely.
I do feel like one 20 year old is not equal to the next 20 year old. One might be very mature, and completely ready for that step, where as the other might still be in the "party" mode and far from marriage. So it depends on each individual person.
Having experienced a lot as a single person, doesn't necessarily make you ready for marriage or not. I guess it just depends on what the experiences are and how they have helped you grow and mature.
In the end, it's down to the couples decision, and what they KNOW to be right for THEM. If that's getting married quickly, then so be it...though my daughters better take their time ;) ha. Also, if you feel in your heart and have been prompted to have children, then it's time!
Forget what others think. We all know these are PERSONAL decisions, and ONLY personal decisions :) Exactly what Amanda said at the end, "The more confident you are in your choice the less you'll care about the opinions of others!" amen, amen, amen.
Have you had people giving you a hard time about having more? We never really got those questions, even in Utah ;)
okay, we already talked about this subject so you know my opinion..i'm glad you got the tracker thing :)
Whitney, I am a great example of people asking these exact questions. I got married the day after my 19th birthday, and boy did everyone have a lot to say about it! Kirk and I have been married for 3 years now, no kids in sight, and people have absolutely no inhibition to ask, what are you waiting for? I have no idea why people think that that is appropriate. And Its nuts that people i don't even know think they can weigh in on private decisions. So i loved your post and I know EXACTLY what you are talking about.
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